Posts by Reopened Mind

13

Questions from the Essay "Self-Identity and Growing Up in the Jehovah's Witnesses

by Reopened Mind in

jw
friends

the essay "self-identity and growing up in the jehovah's witnesses" by marcela sherwin was an interesting commentary on how being brought up as one of jehovah's witnesses affects one as an adult after they leave the cult.

only a small sample of ten adult xjws participated in the survey.

i thought it would be interesting to read the answers all of you would give to the same questions.

Reopened Mind

Star tiger;

Thank you for your contribution. My husband and sons also suffer with low self esteem as a result of being raised a Witness. TotallyADD laments that he would have really liked to have played football in high school. He would have been good at it. To this day he follows the Tampa Bay Buccaneers even though we haven't lived in the Tampa area for 8 years. Congratulations on going back to school. Hope that works out well for you. I went to 2 years at a local junior college and earned a degree in biology before being baptised into the cult. This has been of no use to me. So please finish out a useful degree.

Coffee House Girl;

I hear you saying you only had one choice to regular pioneer as a teenager. One choice is really no choice at all. We talked to our boys about going to Bethel. In hindsight I'm so thankfull that neither one went, especially after reading some of the horror stories of those who experienced life at Bethel. It's interesting that you said you were not in the clique because your dad didn't go to meetings. My husband and boys have said the same thing because they were elder's kids. Other kids were afraid they would get tattled on. LOL I, too, was socially awkward as a child. I think that was a strong reason why I began studying with Witness girls in school. I've had various conditional friends in the congregation over the years. Like you my best friend is my husband TotallyADD. I especially like that we are leaving the WT together. Coffee House Girl you have an authentic good personality which has nothing with being raised in the cult. I enjoy your posts.

SirNose586;

You were allowed to be part of a chamber orchestra? Was that in the day when there was still live music at the conventions? My father-in-law was a professional musician before he became a Witness and played bass in the orchestra.

Reopened Mind

13

Questions from the Essay "Self-Identity and Growing Up in the Jehovah's Witnesses

by Reopened Mind in

jw
friends

the essay "self-identity and growing up in the jehovah's witnesses" by marcela sherwin was an interesting commentary on how being brought up as one of jehovah's witnesses affects one as an adult after they leave the cult.

only a small sample of ten adult xjws participated in the survey.

i thought it would be interesting to read the answers all of you would give to the same questions.

Reopened Mind

The essay "Self-Identity and Growing Up in the Jehovah's Witnesses" by Marcela Sherwin was an interesting commentary on how being brought up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses affects one as an adult after they leave the cult. Only a small sample of ten adult XJWs participated in the survey. I thought it would be interesting to read the answers all of you would give to the same questions. How about it? Will you participate? The questions I have culled from the article are below.

Survey Questions for Adults Who Were Raised as Jehovah’s Witnesses but no Longer Practice

1. Were you allowed to make choices for yourself when you were a teenager? If so were your choices restricted to those approved by the WT?

2. As a child did you fit in with the in-group at the Kingdom Hall?

3. Were you part of a school team, yearbook, multi-cultural club or other extracurricular activities?

4. Have you struggled with adjusting to the social norms and values of society after departing from the WT in your adult life?

5. Have you struggled with making friends in your adult life?

6. Have you attended counseling after departing from the WT?

7. What effect has your Witness upbringing had on you, positive, negative, or a combination?

I am a convert myself (converted as a teenager) so appreciate any insight you might share with what it was like growing up in the cult. I've read many of your stories and have difficulty relating to much of it. I raised my children in the WT, thoroughly convinced it was the best way to bring up my boys. My husband, TotallyADD, was raised in the cult by fanatical Witness parents. He has answered the above questions which I will post later.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

The essay in its entirety can be found at www.freeminds.org. Thanks to Randy for putting up on his site.

Reopened Mind

66

Men are Adorable!

by Robdar in

jw
friends

this afternoon i had the pleasure of listening to my dad, husband and son discuss timing belts, the teeth they rest on, camshafts, and other car parts that i cant recall at such a late hour.

they were totally engrossed in the conversation and it was fun listening to them talk.

the air was thick with testosterone and they were so manly that i just had to smile about it.

Reopened Mind

I have to weigh in on this thread. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and 2 outstanding sons. My husband TotallyADD is all thumbs when it comes to mechanics but put a screw gun in his hands and he really shines. Three years ago we bought an old log house sight unseen off the internet. To say it was a handyman special would be putting it mildly. Last summer hubby gutted the house and totally redesigned it, rewiring, replumbing, drywalling, painting. He made me a whole new kitchen by reworking the cabinets and putting in a tile countertop. Time ran out last summer to redo the bathroom but that is his project now that we have moved into the house. A couple years ago we bought 2 colorful Mexican sinks from an importer in St. Augustine, FL with the idea of incorporating them into our log house. He has designed the bathroom around the sinks. I am eager to see the finished product.

Did I say the log house is in PA? My oldest son took off time from work to come to Florida from another state to move us to PA.

My youngest son is the one I call when I need help with anything computer related. He has gotten me out of many jams.

While adorable is not the first adjective I think of when I think of my three men, I certainly would call them talented, helpful, considerate, thoughtful, fun to be with, and I am so happy they are a part of my life.

Reopened Mind

21

Good bye to all

by TotallyADD in

jw
friends

in just a few days reopened mind and me will be taking that big trek up to the north country.

we have hit very few road blocks in the last months getting ready for our move.

we will not be able to get high speed internet were we are moving to.

Reopened Mind

Jamie,

Yes, I still have your number. Will definitely call you when we get to PA.

Reopened Mind

51

Who Or What Influenced You The Most To Leave The Organization?

by minimus in

jw
friends

any person or situation ?.

Reopened Mind

For me the catalyst was an article in the Gainesville Sun in January 2007 regarding Jehovah's Witnesses and their refusal of blood tranfusions featuring Kerry-Louderback Wood. Up until this time I had been a staunch supporter of the WT's stand on blood. Back in 1982 on the day my second son was born the doctor who was the head of the pediatric intensive care unit came to me to get me to OK a transfusion for my baby. He told me my son would not live the day out unless I consented to let him have blood. Then I was threatened with a court order to force blood. Well, as it turned out, my baby did not receive a blood transfusion and he lived and thrived. But when I read the newspaper article and looked up the website ajwrb.org which was cited in the article, I slowly began to see a different side to the story. From there I followed all the links and researched more topics on the Watchtower. What I found brought into focus all of the little questions I had had over the years as well as opened my eyes to scandals within the organization to which I had been blissfully unaware (UN, Malawi/Mexico, pedophilia, Ray Franz). I'm glad I reopened my mind.

Reopened Mind

29

Good News to Share...My Wife Said to me...

by onemore in

jw
friends

my wife said to me last night....im done...im not going back to a kh.

i have to say that the wt did it all for me.

and the program at this last circuit assembly: ...not part of the world was the final nail in the coffin.

Reopened Mind

To onemore, now there are twomore, and soon to be threemore.

Reopened Mind

23

Update on my daughter Ali... finally some good news!

by coffee_black in

jw
friends

i've posted several times over the past 6 months about my daughter, ali's severe heart failure due to a virus.

it has been a roller coaster ride.

recently her leads from her pacemaker and defibrilator became displaced due to strong coughing due to bronchitis.

Reopened Mind

We are so happy to hear that your daughter Ali has had her surgery and is doing well. Having insurance that covered the expenses and a job that was kept open for her I'm sure has relieved a lot of pressure. She is so blessed to have you for a mother. The next couple months may be a stretch for you both financially but you willl get through it. Sounds like the worst is over.

Hubby and I have lived most of our married lives of 37 years without health insurance. We have survived despite his knee surgery last year.

Best wishes for a continued recovery.

Reopened Mind and TotallyADD

25

Spent last few days in Hospital with our 23 yr old son

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

severe abdominal pain turned out to be pancreatitis !

very scary .... his levels of enzymes should have been 180 ,but were 4,500 .

all the tests xrays , ulta sound and mri showed no gallstones or blockages just one mother of an inflamned pancreas .

Reopened Mind

troubled mind,

TotallyADD and I send our best wishes to your son for a speedy recovery. It must be heartbreaking to see your child in so much pain. Perhaps the flood is the key to the correct diagnosis.

The times TotallyADD was in the hospital his JW mother never visited him. He was very hurt by it.

From one longtime caregiver to another, get some rest and take care of yourself. You will then be better able to take of your son.

Reopened Mind

89

Want to quit Bible study

by confusedstudent in

jw
friends

hi i was just looking for some advice.

i have been studying with the jw's for over a year now, and attended 2 memorials and the district/assembly conventions.

at first, and up until very recently i truly believed what i was learning was the truth.

Reopened Mind

Dear Confused Student,

You have been given much good advice on how to gracefully bow out of your study. Getting a full-time job will help.

If you become an unbaptized publisher (hopefully you will decline) you will be told how to count your time. Believe me the sisters who study with you are turning in a report on you every month. They count the time they spend with you, they count you as a Bible study, and every time they visit you they count you as a return visit. You were probably counted as a return visit when the sister took you to the emergency room and she also likely counted that time spent with you.

I, like DagothUr, became a Witness as a result of a Bible study. Thirty eight years later I wish I had had the courage to say "no".

Do not worry about hurting their feelings. You need to worry about what is right for you and your family. I am sorry that you miscarried your twins. Think really hard about what raising children in a cult would be like. For starters there are no holiday celebrations, no birthdays, no Christmas, no mother's or father's days. The only thing the Witnesses "celebrate" is a death----the Memorial. You will be expected to keep busy with "theocratic activities", ie. meetings, field service, assemblies, conventions, to which you will be expected to bring your children. There are no activities designed for children.

You did a good thing by coming here. Now listen and learn from our mistakes.

All the best,

Reopened Mind

21

JW's attempt to sabotage a funeral was foiled (for now)

by TastingFreedom in

jw
friends

i had to share this sad experience... even if it's not in my top priority list.. my older brother from my mom's first marriage unfortunately passed away last night.

he had been struggling with health issues, the last few years.

this is a very sad time in the family as you can imagine, specially because my mother lost her youngest son just five years ago.

Reopened Mind

Tasting Freedom,

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your brother. Your SIL's attempt to sabotage the funeral was unbelievably crass!!! Do your best to hold your ground, knowing you are doing all you can to honor your brother.

(((((HUGS)))))

Reopened Mind